


We Miss You, Son

by flinthasfeels



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Ash Lynx Deserves Better, Ash Lynx Dies, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Max and Jess love him so much, Parental Jessica Randy, Parental Max Lobo, Why isn’t parental Jessica an official tag she needs more recognition folks, graveyards, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:20:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29955345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flinthasfeels/pseuds/flinthasfeels
Summary: Max and Jessica go to visit Ash.
Relationships: Ash Lynx & Jessica Randy, Max Lobo & Ash Lynx, Max Lobo/Jessica Randy
Comments: 9
Kudos: 14





	We Miss You, Son

_February 20th, 2018._ Max stood in front of the mirror while throwing on his jacket. His hair was rather disheveled and those eye bags became more prominent with every day he woke up. A breath was exhaled into the miserable atmosphere, the melancholy of it all weighed down on his shoulders. Nonetheless, he plastered on as much of a smile as he could muster as he approached Micheal from downstairs. 

Micheal was such this ball of happiness, his smile contagious and an attitude rarely rotten. With every smile or kind gesture of Micheal’s, Max felt this guilt of his grow more continuously. The guilt of keeping such a secret from him— that his hero was gone. But for now a facade will do, a selfish desire within him doesn’t want to see that smile tainted with grief so young. He’d tell him eventually. But not now, _oh_ , not now.

In no time Jessica answered the door to a babysitter for Micheal, in which he reacted somewhat displeasingly. “Why can’t I just come with, momma?” he asked so unknowingly, and Max’s heart stung when he saw such a look plastered across her face.

She assured him that he could come _next time_ with a strain in her voice so pained it was almost laughably obvious. But what a funny thing— there’s no _next time,_ no, not where they’re headed.  
The babysitter looked kind, and relief flooded through both Max and Jessica as they made their way out the door, ensured their son can be content a day more.

Jessica looked as if she could break, back pressed against the door as she slumped her head down. Suppressing a sob had never been harder, yet she still had managed to swallow it whole and cleared her throat in the process. Her eyes were glassy and filled with grief, Max reciprocated that look. 

“I miss him Max,” she croaked.

Max felt as if he’d break at the rawness of those words, it truly felt as if they had lost a son. He could only manage to hug her, for if he had dared to speak a word, tears would have spilled. Silence only proceeded as she echoed the gesture, wrapping her arms around him as they rocked back and fourth, sniffles being exchanged. 

He halted and pulled her back momentarily, a sad look present in his eyes. “We should probably get going.” 

Jessica only nodded, making her way to the car.

The revving of the engine as Max sat onto the drivers seat occupied their grieving minds for just a moment, a moment gone too soon. Not a minute later, though, are they on the road, white noise leaving the car ample. 

Silence wasn’t necessarily good for them. Their memories of that blond boy— his face, his teasing, the way he had referred to them as if they were his parents— it practically haunted their brains with every chance it could. 

“I had a dream about Ash last night,” Max blurted, and he began to reminisce about it. 

Jessica hummed. “What was it about?” She seemed almost hesitant to ask.

Max let’s out a huff that could possibly be deemed a laugh. “Nothing crazy. You see, he and I— at one point in time— would meet up in these father-son disguises, that’s how he started calling me ‘Dad.’” He smiled to himself, drumming his fingers on the wheel lightly as he tried to remember the part of this dream. “Anyway, the dream was just him and I sharing a moment a son would usually share with his dad. We were playing football in this huge open field— it was practically heavenly.” He paused, choking back a light sob. “Needless to say I woke up in tears, Jess.” 

Jessica placed a hand over Max’s shoulder and motioned her thumb comfortingly. “He could’ve been visiting you.” Her voice was laced with a sad kind of hope, and Max continuously found it harder to hold back a cry. 

He hadn’t of thought of that dream as a visitation up until now, and he didn’t mind the concept. It gave him hope and dare he say—  _ closure.  _ Closure was something he craved at this point, yet he also craved to just hug the boy he loved the same way he loved his own son, one last time. The two wants were contradictory in a sense— wanting the reassurance of knowing he’s finally okay yet not being able to simply hold him in his arms. 

He made a turn and halted into a parking lot, beyond it rested acres and acres of headstones in all shapes and sizes. But off in the distance, he could see a newly manufactured headstone littered with fresh flowers, and he could only assume it was the one and only, fierce and brilliant, Ash. 

But before he could make his way out of the car, the pit in his stomach churned and he began to sob, placing his head on the wheel and covering himself with his arms. He wondered why only now he was hit with such an overwhelming reality check that this was real— not some shitty nightmare. He cursed the world for bringing Ash in only to take him back out so soon, just when he began to enter a path for a better life and opened up.  _Cruel, cruel cruel_ ,  he hissed within his mind, balling his fists tight. He hated this feeling of helplessness, that nothing will bring this boy back to everyone that missed him dearly. 

But a grounding voice, although drowned out through his sobs, comforted him with a hand placed on his shuttering back. Jessica was crying too, and his heart stung further when he turned his head to look at the sight.

“How the hell am I supposed to go up there?” Max managed, breaths hitched.

Jessica shook her head and rubbed her cheek with her free hand. “Together,” she whispered. “We’ll go together, okay?”

Max was reluctant, sniffling profusely as his breathing subsided. He felt it’d be wrong if he just left Ash alone, yet he didn’t know if his heart could take it.

“You can take your time. It’s still light out.”

He glanced up at the sky, the sun nowhere to be seen in this shitty snow-fleeted weather. But he focused on the individual specks of snow that began to fall, and he attempted to slowly regain composition.

“Alright,” he stuttered, rubbing his eyes, and Jessica gave him a smile of reassurance. “Let’s go visit our boy.”

She smiled dolefully. “Yeah. Let’s go visit our boy.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!! Haven’t written in these note tabs in a while. I hope this was in character? This was somewhat of a character study, but it was also mostly just me desperate for more parental Max/Jess yet with a pinch of angst. Hope you readers enjoyed.


End file.
